Gift Giving. I love giving gifts – I truly enjoy giving people gifts more than I enjoy receiving them. I may not be the best or most organized holiday gift giver, but rather excel (or at least want to think that I do) more at the “random” or “just thinking of you” gifts. A few weeks ago, H & I were talking about our old Baltimore life and wondering how our former colleagues & friends were doing these days. We were most curious about one of our former P&G colleagues “S” and & his better half were up to.
It was late on a Saturday night in Shanghai – making it Saturday AM in Baltimore – so we thought – why don’t we reach out now? No time like the present, right? Well, we shot off a text to see if they were free to FaceTime and catch up – turns out they weren’t but offered up the next weekend for a call and…shared some exciting news via text. They were expecting! BABY P. was set to make his/her debut in early Fall – we were over the moon for these two as they will be excellent parents A few quick texts back & forth, we let them get on with their Saturday morning. We had shared the name of our favorite data-based pregnancy book (Shout out to Emily Oster) and decided it would be fun to surprise them with a book delivery before our scheduled call the next weekend. So, before turning in, we Amazon Primed a gift to our favorite parents-to-be.
Fast forward through a hectic work week, and this time it was our Saturday AM and their Friday night perfect time for a FaceTime date. After quick congratulations and checking in on how the 1st trimeter went, we shared updates on China life and work life in a post M&A world. Then, our friend dropped the bomb – CANCER. He’d been diagnosed with thyroid cancer and was scheduled for surgery on Monday. His wife was 4.5 months pregnant and now they were coordinating his cancer treatment plan. Whoah – just whoah. He was upbeat and positive and armed with science on his side, but it’s never the news you want to share or hear. We listened, supported and asked a few delicate questions, but mostly tried to listen – to be good friends to them.
After we hung up, we were kind of in shock – having recently gone through a pregnancy we knew how physical and emotional that journey can be even when it’s a “normal” one. To add the cloud of cancer to a happy time, made our hearts ache. We took solace that he 1) has access to care (that’s a soapbox for another day) 2) is getting high-quality, well-coordinated care and 3) has a strong support system. A bright spot amongst the news, is that they had received our gift and he planned to take the book to the hospital for some pre-surgery reading, and that he was excited to read it.
It wasn’t really the book, but it was a token to say “we’re thinking of you” – even before we knew of the cancer diagnosis that made us feel closer to them. It made us feel good to know that a few internet clicks from a few thousand miles away could bring a bit of joy (& distraction) to a friend. As we try to lead more fulfilling lives, it’s the real reaching out – beyond any social media – that reminds us of what makes life special – people.
I’m thankful that S. was able to tell us “in person” and that we could send messages of support before his surgery. It took some time, a little bit of effort and some coordination but it felt important and real. I’m glad we reached out for a random catch up call as it ended up being a bigger connection than I could have imagined. A simple reminder that small acts can have big impacts – so giving a small gift to a friend, ending up having a much larger impact on me – and for that I’m thankful.
Post Script: Surgery went well & now S. is on to his next step of his treatment, baby is growing well.
Friendship52 